Kira Harris, Music Performance Class of 2023
Recently, I’ve been stuck.
For the past few weeks, really, I have been so stuck. Just like the rest of you, I am pushing through yet another online semester. Music classes, non-music classes, extracurriculars, my part-time job, internship applications, and graduate school have all been on my mind. But, amongst the many things I am currently juggling, nothing compares to the creative burnout that has been eating away at me.
My practice sessions lately have looked a lot like this: I sit down and pull out my music. After several deep sighs, I warm up and begin working. Metronome on, tuner out, etc. And, after maybe 30 minutes, I am so tired. Mentally exhausted. I can’t seem to accomplish nearly as much in my practice sessions as I used to, and they are starting to feel like a chore. I am constantly unsatisfied with my progress. So, I am left wondering, is anyone else feeling this kind of artistic burnout as well? I have to imagine that the answer is yes. After a year of online music school, surely we are all finding it hard to realize our artistic goals. So, as I work through this difficult period in my musical education, I thought I’d share a few things that have helped me carry on.
I have had to remind myself that, online or in-person, music school is hard. We take far more credits than our college peers. For all of the hours we spend doing homework for our academic courses, we spend even more time practicing our solo rep, orchestral excerpts, and aural skills exercises. We are studying music at an incredibly high level, and as much as we do support one another, I still think we all deserve to take more time to pat ourselves on the back.
And now, on top of all that, we have done this all online for a year! So I think the most important thing I can do for myself is to adjust my expectations and be gentle with myself. I can do hard things, but that doesn’t mean that all things have to be hard. To cope with this artistic burnout, I have actually been practicing less -- shorter practice sessions that are more meaningful. This has allowed me to focus on the time with my instrument that is well spent, rather than spending time draining my creative battery, trying to force myself to feel inspired when I have nothing left to give. I am also exploring new music! I frequently return to my playlist of favorite classical pieces, but I am now trying to expand on that list and find new favorite pieces. It has been a nice reminder that even when I feel like I am not producing my best art, there is endless artistic material out in the universe that I can tap into.
I hope that some of my friends and classmates can find some comfort in these words. This burnout has definitely been hard on me, but I am confident that better times are ahead, and I know that I (and all of us) will come out of this as a much stronger and more passionate artist.
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